The break-up

I'm watching the break-up, jennifer aniston and vince vaughn and how much this movie relate to my current situation. Make me cry like a baby.

I don't know how our relationship got here- Brook.
I'm asking the same question. How?
she said she just want to be appreciate and i totally understand. I want that too. Sometimes i want to be spoil.
I guess because I've been keeping these for so longggg that we become like this. That's why i got mad at him without reason. I'm not blaming him alone, I know I was wrong too. But I hope he really know why I've become like this. Why I acted like I acted.
I love him soo much, but I am hurt. By his action, his word. I can't take this anymore.
We both selfish, only think what we did, like, i did sooo much more in this relationship, you should do something too, but we can't see what out partner did.
If he can't accept me at my worst, what will happen in the future? what if, my current situation is not my worst? can he accept that?
I think, I've put up with him, at his worst. But.. I don't know, am I?
I want to spend the rest of my life with him, I'm not kidding. But I can't now, can I?
so many things going thru my head, and i think our break up this time is final....

I love Malaysia

Alhamdullilah :) segalanya selesai secara aman. Pagi2 tadi ak m'jlnkan amanah sbgi s'org rakyat Malaysia utk m'undi dan tadi result telah pun keluar, Malaysia kekal di bawah kerajaan BN. 

Apakah perasaan? rasa lega actually. Sbb skrg rasa mcm kita dh tahu apa akan jadi. Mksdnya, dh 56 thn dieorg memerintah, so apa akan jadi pada masa akan dtg mcm blh di ramal la :) Setakat ni 22 thn dah ak ni hidup di Malaysia ak dpt rasakan perubahan, keamanan dan kemakmuran yg telah b'laku atas kerjasama semua rakyat Malaysia. 

Bukan lah bermakna, biarkan je yg salah dlm kerajaan skrg b'leluasa, tapi perlulah d'perbaiki. Sbb itu ak rasa it's okay for them to menang tipis, at the very least now dieorg akan lbh b'hati2 dlm m'jln kan tugas. X sewenang-wenangnya salah guna kuasa, buat corruption and kronism. Jadi dlm 5 thn ni kita blh tgk k'tulusan dieorg. Kalau x blh blah jugak blh la undi lain 5 thn lagi :) tapi setakat ni rakyat Malaysia dh buat k'putusan.

Byk isu politik kotor actually dlm PRU kali ni, x kira la drpd party mana, yg salah ttp salah jangan pulak pejam sblh mata. Itu x adil namanya. Yang paling lawak sekali, rakyat Malaysia ni mcm dh x blh fikir. Bila baca something kt internet, terus share tanpa kaji dan selidik. hahahaha sbb tu senang dimanipulate. 

Buat masa skrg marila sama2 berdoa utk better Malaysia :)

Political view la sgtttttt

Hahaha, terasa sgt dewasa gitew bila blh mengundi okay. I am very proud that I already registered to vote. Sebab bagi ak every vote count, x kira la kau sorang ke, sbb satu vote pun blh ubah our goverment kan.

Buat masa ni ak masih, b'fikir dan menimbang tara party apakah yg ak ingin sokong, rasanya masing2 ada pros and cons yg jelas dan tidak dapat dinafikan. Dah jadi mcm pilih coke and pepsi pulak, lebih kurang sama jeeee. Ummm susah bukan? sbb bagi ak bukan party apa yg penting tapi kebenaran, apa yg party tu pejuangkan lbh penting. Semua sibuk nk b'ubah tp b'ubah kpd apa? adakah hanya change for the sake of changing? perlulah fikir dlm2. bak kata pepatah, be careful what you wish for.

Terus terang ak ni takut nk amik risk sbb ak sendiri x yakin dgn apa yg m'dtg. Ak x yakin ikhlas x apa yg mereka p'juangkan dan adakah sesuai utk Malaysia? Mksd ak Malaysia is still a baby nk compared dgn negara2 lain yg dh lama b'diri. Tapi btul la, tak kan nak biarkan je yg corrupt dan salah ni b'leluasa? x btul jugk kan? See I am in dilemma. Like biggest dilemma in my life laaaa. Muahahahahaha. Sbb tu ak perlukan sumber2 utk memahami smua ni.

We'll see ja la apa yang akan b'laku. Tapi bak kata stranger in fb- bukan pilih yg paling baik tapi pilih yang kurang kemudaratannya.. or more or less the same.. igt2 lupa ;)

PEACE YAWW- bak kata org yg tulis lps b'debat dlm fb.

sekian ;)

Heartbroken

Ever feel like your heart is broken into pieces? a feeling that i think nobody want to feel. Sebab that is the suckiest feeling in the world. unfortunately, rasanya hari ni ak rasa jugak perasaan tu. Aku tak pasti mcm mana semua ni bermula, yg ak tahu tup tup ak dh menangis macam org gila. 

Maybe ak expect too much? maybe i'm such a spoil brat? ak pun x pasti yg ak tahu ak sedih sangat. Mula dgn gaduh2 biasa dan ending dgn perkataan break up yg x habis2 keluar dr mulut ak. Sebab tu la yg ak fikir dgn akal tp bkn yg ak rasa dgn hati. Ikutkan akal, ak nak break. Turn a new leaf and try something new. Buka buku baru supaya ak x lagi asyik sedih. Sebab to be honest ak dh penat nangis. Ak dh penat rasa kecewa. 

Ini yang aku rasa. Aku rasa mr.bf dh x ad effort lagi. Mungkn sbb dia confident yang ak sayang kat dia dan x kan cari lain. Sedih x kalau tiap kali ak yang perlu bangkit kan soal kahwin mcm ak yg t'hegeh2 nak kahwin dgn dia. X tgk lagi respond dia yg buat hati ak luruh. Kalau kwn2 ak, bf dieorg excited sgt kalau ckp pasal kahwin, tp kalau mr.bf, sebaliknya yg berlaku. Aku x rasa aku mampu dgr dan tgk lagi respond dia. Kalau ini lah yang ak perlu lalui utk kahwin dgn dia, rasanya berbaloi ke?

Ini belum kira spend masa sama2 lagi. Am i a demanding gf? Ak ad mintak mcm2 ke? apa yg ak nak hanyalah spend masa sama2, lepak2 tapi ssh sgt nk dpt. tipu la kalau ak kata ktorg x kluar langsung, tapii ak blh kira brp kali ktorg keluar. Lawak x kalau mr.bf ajak keluar ak jadi excited mcm bdk2 dpt gula? comel kan ak? itu adalah sbb ktorg jarang keluar. kalau ada peluang utk keluar ak serius jadi cenggitu. Sampai kwn2 ak ad tny, weyh kau x kisah ke x kluar? akak ak pernah ckp, ad bf mcm x ad bf ak x nak ckp kat mr bf sbb nnt dia kata ak dgr ckp org. Tapi percayalah ak x dgr ckp org.

IKUTKAN AKAL AKU, AKU DAH BREAK SERIBU KALI, TAPI HATI NI DEGIL SANGAT. TOLONG LAH HATI, KESIAN LA KAT DIRI KAU.

Sebab akhirnya yang sakit kau. Bukan org lain. dan mata ni dah bengkak2 menangis. 

Awkward

Here2 let's hear my useless rambling -_-

New sem is about to start in 3 days? so excited -_-' ahahaha well i don't start packing yet sbb malas and x rasa nk balik. semangat tu suam2 kuku jee. masih leka dgn alam maya yg penuh dgn warna warni. Oleh sbb tu masih ad masa nk tulis review? review ke? pasal cerita yg baru di discover... behold of another teenage dramaaa .... AWKWARD

Yup, semenjak menjadi suri rumah/penanggur byk masa di gunakan utk tgk drama cenggini. Actually my sister yg discover, me just took it from her hard disk. so cerita dia, mcm tipikal teenager drama. American teenager la sbb me yg ddk kat Malaysia ni sungguh x rasa pengalaman cenggitu di high school :)

Walaupun begitu cerita ni x tipikal sgt kerana mendalami k'hidupan remaja dgn lbh dekat. bak kata penulis dan creator cerita ni. So ala2 Easy A and Mean girls la. sgt entertaining utk di tonton dan mmg lawak. Gelak tanpa henti wa ckp lu. Addition point pulak, kedua-dua watak hero tampan lagi bergaya, ahaha additional point kan? muahahaha boleh la cuci2 mata gitew

Sekian review yg x seberapa review utk keseronokan bersamaa.

The book I read

few days until my new sem start. Rasa excited (sbb tmpt baru) and i probably going to miss home as in, tv, wifi, food. And I'm surely going to miss my family. we have fun together :) sbb soo long x update, as if people t'nnt2 and read my shitty writing -_- but what the hell ;)

having fun read this 5 books :) (4 dh habis satu lagi otw) not a review or anything. Klau review utk pro gitew. Ini hanyala prsonal opinion. 1. Annexed. kalau familiar with Anne Frank,this story is about the boy that lived with Anne Frank. supposedly she had crush on him and vice versa. In this book it's his point of view. Sedih bila baca sbb m'ceritakan mcm mana dieorg menyorok and hidup dlm ketakutan. lebih2 lagi dieorg masih kanak2 and wondering why Nazi hate Jew so much. Talked to my mom and she said, this is what happening to Palestine now and it make me sad even more. Because they know how it felt yet, dieorg buat org lain feel exactly the same.

2.The book of lost things. it supposedly a children book? i'm not sure but the near ending part gave me goosebumps. But a really good book, buat ak menyelak-nyelak beberapa kali utk baca parrt yg ak suka. I mean the villain n this book was call the the crooked man and he was pure evil. 

3.The dreamwalker's child. Not the most fun book to read. took me a whole month to finish. Maybe because i'm busy do other things and maybe because this book kind a boring. Kalau korang suka baca a normal boy > went to other world > turn out to be hero > safe the world, korang probably akan suka cerita ni :)

4. After the party. um x tau la, chick flick? tapi cerita ni m'ceritakan hidup b'keluarga. struggling to keep relationship and family. lps tu mcm confusion bout life destiny and so on. Okay la sbb agak menarik so ak habiskan dlm masa s'mggu :)

5. otw nak habis tapi masih separuh jln, The catcher in the rye. supposedly to be this very good book everyone talked about. but i find the main character a bit childish. Apparently he hate all phony people, yg bagi ak hanya m'cermin kan betapa dia rasa dia bagus sgt and freely judge people. i don't like him that much 

oh that's  it.. selesaii fin :)

Drama

so I had been living in my house like a princess, you know sleeping, eating and having fun like there is no tommorow. Ohohohoh. what make me writing so soon kan? i mean i just wrote the last entry like a day before right?

me want to write about this tv series that had been keeping me busy. reality show to be exact. So the show are hehe ada 2. drum roll please.... Laguna Beach and The Hills! woot woot. so kenapa nak buat review? is it a review? or i rather think this is my personal opinion about the show -_- saja2 like i wanted to write something different and make like you know something new? huh.. so The Oc kan?

i had watch this tv show few years back masa dia masih run on mtv. but tak die hard apa la kan sbb  ak pun kat sekolah and selalu t'lps.

while watching the show all i could thinking was, girls are that shallow? ye la dengan jealousy and betrayal and back stabbing. OMG seriously? is it true? so i kept comparing with my real life, you know with my friends and all. kind a true? i mean i had been in that kind of drama. soooo is it true?

and you know what is more annoying? dieorg kayaaaa mcm nak mampus. so laguna beach and the hills mcm 4-5 years back and masa cerita tu filming umur dieorg mcm umur aku, but dieorg bwk kereta merc, bmw,range rover and all this sport car. you know how i hate spoil brat kids -_- it's like they are so spoil and show off, Oh my god. hah keluar lagi Oc way of talking

another annoying thing about this show is the way the girls talk. Like, you know, oh my god tu laaa selalu keluar drpd mulut dieorg, please girlss, get your vocab book and try new words! 

so with this endless annoying list why still i watch this super drama? yes because this drama is my guilty pleasure ;)